Love is a Snowmobile
by Bright Copper Kettles
Summary: Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra that flips you under and pins you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." Matt Groening. Rose and Scorpius just might defeat their own expectations. Interview canon, WIP
1. Chapter 1

"I still don't understand why this matters so damn much," Rose whined as she marched with Al across the snowy lawn of Hogwarts, down to the greenhouses. "It's not like it can't wait until it is above freezing-"

"You haven't seen my most recent Herbology grade, have you?" Al snapped, ending Rose's tirade. Rose knew Albus was a regular genius at Charms and had quite the talent for Potions, but working at the NEWT level in the other subjects, especially Herbology, was a constant battle for the seventh year Slytherin.

Rose's glasses fogged up as she walked into the balmy greenhouse, but she was grateful for the warmth. Rose and Al began stomping off the snow from their shoes and dusting it off their jackets, and Rose wiped off her glasses before looking around to appreciate the beauty of the plants inside. Of course, the majority of them were problematic at best (deadly at worst), but it was still nice to have some green in the dead of the December weather.

"Rose! Al! I was wondering if you had gotten lost on your way from the castle," Professor Longbottom said with a warm smile, pulling off the dragon hide gloves he had been wearing. "Your workstation is set up in the back, Al, and Scorpius should be able to catch you two up with everything-"

"Wait? Who?" Rose said with a start, blushing slightly when she realized that she had just interrupted her professor, family friend or not. "I mean, I didn't know anyone else was here, is all."

Al rolled his eyes. "Please, Rose, it's just Scorpius. I must have forgotten to tell you he was coming to help- he _is_ my Herbology partner," Al said with a casual shrug.

Rose gave her cousin a death glare worthy of a Weasley woman, but didn't say anything. She was sure that Al would never 'forget' that his best friend (and someone who Rose found utterly rude and aloof) would be working with them, but she was willing to let the matter go until she could properly interrogate Al.

Neville gave a bemused glance at the two for a moment. "Well, I'll be in my office if you have any trouble!" he said, going back to the rear of the greenhouse.

Rose made every effort to ignore her cousin as they put on aprons and gloves to prepare for what was promising to be an interesting afternoon.

p-p-p

"So remind again what it is you have to do?" Rose said, eyeing the aquarium tank sitting on the table with some trepidation. The water inside resembled bog water, and seemed to be writhing unpleasantly.

"I managed to botch the lesson on gurdyroots-" said Al.

"-quite marvelously, actually," Scorpius added. "You managed to ruin an entire batch of harvested roots because you were too busy practicing for the Transfiguration practical test."

Rose winced- the gurdyroots had been a pain to harvest. The secretion from the root was highly toxic, incredibly odorous, and horribly painful to the touch. Strengthening Spells had to be cast on all the students' dragon hide gloves every thirty minutes or so in order to keep the Gurdyjuice from eating them away.

Ignoring Scorpius, Al continued, "- so my make-up assignment will be to harvest this ripe batch of gillyweed."

"And why are the two of us here?" Scorpius asked. Rose felt a little relieved that she was not alone in her confusion as to her purpose in the greenhouses that day.

"You're my Herbology partner," Al said with a too-innocent face. Scorpius was clearly peeved by this tenuous tie that bound him to a Friday afternoon of make-up assignments.

"And my dear Rose is not only blood, and therefore bound by in some manner to help me, but has a rather Ravenclawish knowledge for someone so profoundly Gryffindor," Al said, grinning at Rose. This did not put her at ease.

"You know very well I'm not doing this out of familial relations," she said sternly. "I'm doing this because I, for some reason I've yet to figure out, enjoy your company." Rose pulled her long curly hair back to begin work. "And I'm certainly not doing this because you can cast a corporeal Patronus while I just get mist and we're having a test on it next month."

Al rolled his eyes, and Scorpius smirked. Al opened a rather thick book on Herbology on the table. "At any rate, we should probably get started- 'gillyweed harvesting can be rather difficult due to the depth at which the roots grow, even in domestic crops...'"

p-p-p

Two hours later, all three were covered in mud up to their elbows, and the ripe gillyweed was resting in a mushy pile beside the tank. Exhausted from the effort of digging up the stubborn gillyweed, Rose was attempting to scrub the caked on layers of mud off of her body. The frizz around her hairline was sporting flecks of mud, never mind her muddiness of her arms, clothes, and face. Silently cursing her cousin's lack of Herbology prowess, she turned around to fetch her wand and almost ran right into Scorpius.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, stepping back so not to muddy him any more. Except for he was already pristine- his blond hair looked freshly washed, his robes freshly pressed, and even his fingernails looked positively perfect.

"My apologies," Scorpius said, grinning slightly at the look of confusion on Rose's face. "Is there a problem?"

"How in the name of Merlin's toe socks are you so clean so fast?" Rose said fervently, torn between feeling impressed at his speedy change and anger that she had not managed the same.

"Are you a witch or not?" Scorpius said with a slight sneer. He waved his wand, and Rose was sparkling again; even the apron she had donned to keep the mud at bay was white again.

"Well, thank you, Scorpius," Rose said as cordially as she could muster. Her face flushed red with embarrassment as he walked away.

p-p-p

"Now, don't tell me you actually enjoyed getting, what was it, oh yes, 'tutoring a pathetic excuse for a NEWT Herbology student with a pompous ass Gryffindor cousin of yours,' Scorpius?" Al said, positively bouncing on his bed.

Scorpius glared at his too-energetic best friend. "I never said I actually enjoyed it, Albus, just that it was bearable."

Al let out a megawatt smile. "I knew it! You are growing soft, my friend!"

Scorpius snorted. "Please, Malfoys don't get soft. I never told you that the alternative to my Friday afternoon was saying yes to some sort of early Christmas gathering with the rest of my esteemed Divination class?"

Al's nose wrinkled. Scorpius's one easy NEWT was Divination; unfortunately, the class was filled with absolutely silly and often obnoxious girls who alternated between incessant giggling and awestruck reverence towards the subject. "I suppose that you might have had fun if we had gone on a date with the Giant Squid, but still, it wasn't all bad, was it?"

Scorpius just looked at Al before gathering his things for bed.


	2. Chapter 2

"Please, Scorpius?" Al pleaded as he heaped more food onto his plate. "It's just for an hour, just this one week!"

Scorpius sighed. Al had conveniently earned a Saturday night detention with Professor Longbottom after being over thirty minutes late to Herbology on Monday morning. Of course, Rose Weasley was expecting Al to come to their weekly tutoring session. But, as it was currently impossible to be in two places at once without the long-destroyed time turners, Al was begging his best friend to cover his lesson with Rose.

"I'm still surprised she hasn't produced anything corporeal yet," Scorpius commented, trying to postpone a direct answer. "Isn't she Miss Know-it-All?"

Al sighed. "She's able to get a strong mist, but as soon as it starts to form into something with shape, it will either disintegrate or she'll pass out." Scorpius raised an eyebrow, trying very hard to imagine with in the name of all things holy he would do with an unconscious Rose Weasley to deal with. "But, really, please, Scorpius, will you?"

Scorpius wracked his brain for something else he could be doing, anything at all- his homework was done (and Al knew it because he had copied his Transfiguration essay), his part of the dormitory was clean (although he couldn't speak for any of his other roommates), and the only person he would spend time with on a Saturday night was currently in detention. "I... suppose. But-" he said, trying to speak over Al's exited yelp, "just this once. Nothing long term, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," Al said with an ear-to-ear grin.

p-p-p

7:08, read Scorpius's wristwatch, confirming Al's insistence that Rose would more than likely be late to their lesson. Scorpius tried to keep his annoyance at a tolerable level, knowing that the following hour would bring enough annoyance of its own.

It was 7:11 before Rose came flying into the empty classroom, her hair going in twelve different directions. A smattering of papers seemed to be emanating from her, and Scorpius wondered if there was any other person who could manage to look so chaotic. "I'm so sorry I'm late!" Rose said emphatically as she pulled her wand from behind her ear and tried to smooth her wrinkled robes and wild hair. "I was studying in the library for Transfiguration, but then I missed supper and just had to stop by the kitchen for food-"

"It's fine," Scorpius said curtly, wanting the lesson to go as quickly as possible. "Let's get started. I trust you know the incantation, and what to think, and all that?"

Rose nodded. "Expecto Patronum, happiest memory, all that," she said. "We haven't been able to get to the boggart yet," she said dejectedly while nodding towards the quivering box sitting in the corner.

Scorpius said, "Well, just have a go."

Rose raised an eyebrow before closing her eyes, clearly thinking deeply and intensely about her memory. "_EXPECTO PATRONUM,"_ she shouted, causing Scorpius to jump slightly. A thick fog came out of her wand, and at first Scorpius grew excited- it began to writhe and twist into some semblance of something, but just as quickly faded into thin air.

"As always," she muttered cynically, dejectedly twirling her wand in her hand.

"For starters, you could try not bellowing like an animal when you say the incantation," Scorpius said. "Patronuses are not to be forced, they are natural. Even the incantation is just used to-"

"-harness that which is already within you," Rose said coldly, her mouth drawing tight in irritation. "Don't insult me; I've read the text."

"Just try one more time," Scorpius said, feeling a light color rise to his cheeks at his misstep. "And relax a little." He leaned back against the chalkboard as he watched Rose raise her wand for the second time.

She drew in a deep breath, then exhaled, with her face as determinedly set as before. Rose closed her eyes, the said "_Expecto Patronum,"_ as easily as she would say hello to a friend in the hallway. Again, the mist came from her wand, thick and curling, but just as both Rose and Scorpius were beginning to grow excited, it dissipated just as before.

Rose sat herself down in one of the spare desks Scorpius had pushed to the side of the room earlier, clearly disappointed. Scorpius was worried that she was going to pass out before she practically exploded.

"I just don't understand," she blurted out, her face becoming blotchy with redness from her frustration. "I know the incantation, I know what I'm supposed to feel, I know everything about the damned thing!" She sat down in a chair that was pushed to the side. "I've been working on this for months on my own, and even Al hasn't been able to help!" She stood up and began to pace angrily. "James could do it by the time he was fifteen, and Al's been doing it as a party trick since third year! I just don't understand," she repeated as she sat down in the desk again. "It isn't fair."

Scorpius paced for a moment, thinking. "Patronuses aren't something that can be easily taught, once you understand the concept. It's usually a matter of power, which unless I've missed something isn't the case with you-"

"Damn straight it isn't," Rose said emphatically.

"But that leaves..." Scorpius trailed off and began pacing slowly in front of the blackboard. "What memory are you using?"

"I'm sorry?"

"What memory are you using?" He asked again. "It's possible that you are not using a proper-"

"Don't insult me," Rose said for the second time that night, clearly agitated. "Do you not think that Al and I have pored over every possible option? And what makes you think that I would share my Patronus memory with you?"

Scorpius bristled at Rose's words. "I'm sorry for trying to help you, or perhaps to shed new insight into your inability to conjure something corporeal."

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before Scorpius spoke once more. "Think of the memory, right now."

Rose gave a slight start. "Excuse me?"

"Think of it," Scorpius said, excited by the possibility of a breakthrough. "Let it consume your mind, your thoughts. Right now," he said as he walked over to where Rose was sitting.

Rose seemed skeptical, but called the memory to her mind. "Why?" she asked.

"What emotion do you feel?" Scorpius asked, by this point sitting in the desk next to her, his grey eyes alight with excitement.

"Ah... happiness, I suppose," Rose said, slightly intimidated by the sudden closeness of her tutor.

"No- not what you see, what do you feel," Scorpius said, thudding his hand on his own heart. "What do you feel?" he repeated.

Rose sat still for a moment before answering, "Complacency," she said, somewhat shocked. "Not a bad emotion, but-"

"Nowhere near what you need for a Patronus," Scorpius finished before standing up to begin pacing again. "Now, imagine feeling truly joyous, truly happy first. Let that lead you to a memory that made you feel like that."

Rose sat in silence, a far away look in her face, for about five minutes. Scorpius was still pacing, unable to keep his mind from racing, unable to keep from wondering about what memories where popping up inside Rose's head...

At last, Rose stood up again, confident and with a slight grin on her face. "Alright," she said with a smile. "I think I'm ready."

"Let it come easy," Scorpius instructed as Rose readied her wand. "This is natural, remember?"

Rose nodded, and sad, "_Expecto patronum_."

Scorpius drew in a breath and watched a thin mist flow from the tip of her wand. It began to flow and twist, like a trail of smoke. Slowly but surely, the mist began to group and to form parts- there where legs, then a tail, and before long there was a fully formed animal. Scorpius didn't recognize what it was, and the Patronus was so faint that it was barely visible, but it was Rose's Patronus. "What in the world is it, Rose?" Scorpius asked in a whisper, afraid to break her concentration.

Looking up at Rose, he saw she was almost laughing with joy, and Scorpius couldn't help a smile. "I have no earthly idea!" Rose said gleefully before putting down her wand. They both

watched as the animal dispersed into the air.

Scorpius smirked as Rose sat down with a bar of chocolate he had given her to replenish her strength. "Albus is going to be furious, you realize that?" he said.

Rose laughed. "Oh, I doubt I'll never hear the end of it!" The two sat in a more amiable silence before Rose spoke. "I've still got to practice, that was barely a mist of anything, and I want someone to identify it for me, and they've got to be able to see it to identify it-"

"Surely Professor Weasley can help you," Scorpius said, referring to Rose's uncle who was currently teaching Care of Magical Creatures.

Rose smiled. "That's exactly what I was thinking," she replied. "Thanks for helping, Scorpius," she said.

"Don't mention it," Scorpius said in a voice he didn't quite recognize.  
p-p-p

After a good twenty minutes of teasing the mickey out of Al, Scorpius finally went to bed that night. The strange animal made an appearance in his dreams.


End file.
